Give Me a Thankful Heart

Thursday, November 26, 2015

Give Me a Thankful Heart

Give Thanks. Photo Credit: SHARE FAITH.

"Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good! / For His mercy endures forever. / Oh, give thanks to the God of gods! / For His mercy endures forever. / Oh, give thanks to the Lord of lords! / For His mercy endures forever."1

In The Chicago Daily News Harold Ruoff wrote, "I read about a postal worker who opened and read the mail which came to the Dead Letter Office in Washington addressed to Santa Claus. In the three months before Christmas, there were thousands of letters asking for something. In the months after Christmas, there was only one card addressed to Santa Claus thanking him. How quick we are to ask and receive. How slow we are to speak the magic word—thanks!"

I'm not suggesting that we give thanks to Santa Claus, but one of my constant prayers is that God will give me a thankful heart for every blessing that he has so freely given to me—and for the innumerable blessing he gives to us that I am not even aware of.

This one thing I know, when I think of my background, if it weren't for the grace of God, I don't know where I would be today. I know I wouldn't be where I am with the wonderful privilege of being able to share the Christian message and gospel with so many people around the world via email and the Internet.

Furthermore, even though I came from a very dysfunctional family background, there is one thing that I will be eternally grateful for, and that is that my parents took me to church and Sunday school where I heard the gospel message and there found Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior.

So today, while it is Thanksgiving Day in the U.S.A., wherever you and I are, let us make it a day of thanksgiving in our hearts especially for God's great love gift to the world—the gift of his Son, Jesus, who gave his life on the cross so that you and I could have our sins forgiven and receive a full and free pardon and the gift of eternal life in Heaven to be with God forever.

"Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank you for your everlasting love—that you love me no matter what I have ever done or have failed to do—and that your mercy endures forever. In appreciation for your dying for me help me always to live for you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name. Amen."

1. Psalm 136:1-3 (NKJV).

P.S. Be sure to say thank you to God and to someone every day!

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Miners Rescued

Nine coal-miners of Quecreek. Photo Credit: HELLO GIGGLES.

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Miners Rescued

"And then he [Jesus] told them, 'Go into all the world and preach the Good News to everyone, everywhere.'"1

It's hard to even begin to imagine what the nine coal-miners felt in Quecreek, Pennsylvania, back in 2002 when they were trapped 244 feet below the surface in the 50-degree cold while struggling for survival in a pocket of air in the flooded coal-mine. Thinking they were doomed, several wrote farewell notes to their loved ones. Miner Blaine Mayhugh, 31, asked his boss for a pen when the water in the shaft kept rising. "I want to write my wife and kids to tell them I love them," he said. Then, fearing their death, the miners tied themselves together so all of their bodies would be found if they drowned. It must have been a terrifying experience.

What a relief it was when we learned of their amazing rescue and thanked God for the team who worked feverishly day and night for three days to save the trapped miners—and marveled how they not only found exactly where the men were trapped, but also how they were able to rescue all nine miners.

The New York Times (July 29, 2002) described how a wave of exultation swept out from the floodlit rescue scene as the first words resounded up from below with the news that all the missing miners had survived their ordeal. People were weeping and cheering at village roadsides and television sets at the news that the disastrous flood deep underground had left no fatalities among the harried night crew that disappeared on Wednesday deep in the Quecreek mine.

If only the church as a whole and today's Western Christians had the same commitment to rescue those who are bound for a lost eternity in darkness without God and without hope.

Here in ACTS International, while we are just a tiny organization, we are among those who are doing everything in their power to reach the lost for Christ. Never before has the church had the technology that makes it possible to reach so many--by so few--for so little comparative cost.

But like so many others who are doing this work all we lack is the support. God has given his church the life-saving message, the methods to communicate it to untold thousands of people worldwide, but we just don't have the sufficient means.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please move among the hearts of Your people to join with and support the rescue teams who are on the front line of action seeking to win the lost to Jesus. Help me to realize the full impact of the unthinkable doom of those who are lost in darkness who, without Your gift of salvation, are doomed for eternal damnation and will be lost forever without hope. And grant with Your help that I will do my part in obeying Your commission to help take the gospel to everyone, everywhere. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus's name, amen."

P.S. To see how you can help ACTS share the gospel see http://www.actscom.com

1. Mark 16:15 (NLT).

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Christianity Vs. Religion

 Worshipers at a South African Roman Catholic Church. Photo Credit: ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Christianity Vs. Religion

"In the past God spoke to our forefathers through the prophets at many times and in various ways, but in these last days He has spoken to us by His Son [Jesus], whom He appointed heir of all things, and through whom He made the universe."1

Karl Barth was lecturing to a group of students at Princeton. One student asked the renowned German theologian, "Sir, don't you think that God has revealed himself in other religions and not only in Christianity?" Barth's answer stunned the crowd. With a modest thunder he answered, "No, God has not revealed himself in any religion, including Christianity. He has revealed himself in his Son [Jesus]."2

People by nature are religious in that every person is born with a sense of a divine being, and at some point each person decides whether to accept that belief, enquire into it, or reject it. Many choose the belief (as the saying goes) that "all roads lead to Rome," and all religions lead to God. Not true.

In one sense religion is man's search for God primarily through his own efforts, or through a man-made religion. On the other hand, Jesus (or real Christianity) is God's search for man. And that makes all the difference in the world. Because we are all sinners, it is impossible for us to save ourselves through our own efforts or any man-made religion. This is why God, in His eternal love for us, sent His own Son, Jesus, to die on the cross in our place to pay the penalty for all our sins. Mankind's salvation is thus found in Jesus Christ alone. There is no other way.

Narrow? Yes. But had there been any other way, why would Jesus have come to earth as a man to die an excruciating death on a Roman cross to pay the penalty for our sins? As Jesus said, "Small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life and only a few find it."3

So the important question is not, are you religious? Or, do you belong to a Christian denomination, or are you a member of a Christian church; rather, it is, have you accepted Jesus as your Savior? Is your trust in Him and Him alone for your eternal salvation? As Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father [God] except through me.4

If in doubt, be sure to read the article, "How to Be Sure You're a Real Christian—without having to be religious" at: http://tinyurl.com/8glq9.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank You for Your 'so great salvation' provided through the death of Your Son, Jesus, on the cross for my sins and to give to me the gift of eternal life. And Jesus, because You died for me, help me to live for You always in all ways. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus's name, amen."

1. Hebrews 1:1-2 (NIV).
2. Rev. John H. Pavelko, "Avoiding a Troubled Heart."
3. Matthew 7:14 (NIV).
4. John 14:6 (NIV).

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NOVEMBER 2015 - HOLY GHOST SERVICE - EBENEZER ...

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Beware of African Juju of Sorcery and Witchcraft

Photo Credit: Muhammad Umar
@Muhamma99105006
"Let no one be found among you who sacrifices their son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft."
~ ◄ Deuteronomy 18:10 ►
New International Version

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Winning Over Worry and Anxiety: The Testimony of J.C. Penney

 In a J.C. Penney publicity photo, Penney fits shoes to young customers. Many of the company’s children’s shoes were made in Hamilton. Photo courtesy of the JCPenney Company records, DeGolyer Library, Southern Methodist University.

Friday, November 6, 2015

Winning Over Worry and Anxiety, Part III

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."1

I have read how, in 1929, business tycoon J.C. Penney was in the hospital because of his severe anxiety. One night he was sure he was going to die, so he wrote farewell letters to his wife and son.

But he survived the night, and hearing singing the next morning in the chapel, felt drawn to go in. A group was singing, "God will take care of you," after which followed Bible reading and prayer.

The Power of Belief

Friday, October 30, 2015

The Power of Belief

Jesus said, "According to your faith will it be done to you."1

In younger days I used to think I was the only one who had an inferiority complex and felt insecure. I have long since learned that feeling insecure was part of the human condition and I wasn't alone by any means. Half the answer to overcoming this feeling is to admit it and then we are free to grow and change. Sadly, these feelings are often embedded into our mind by others who put us down or simply didn't believe in us.

For instance, I recently read how "the famous Psychiatrist Dr. Alfred Adler had an experience when a young boy, which illustrates just how powerful such a belief can be upon behavior and ability. He got off to a bad start in arithmetic and his teacher became convinced that he was 'dumb in mathematics.' The teacher then advised the parents of this 'fact' and told them not to expect too much of him. They too were convinced. Adler passively accepted the evaluation they had placed upon him. And his grades in arithmetic proved they had been correct.

"One day, however, he had a sudden flash of insight and thought he saw how to work a problem the teacher had put on the board, and which none of the other pupils could work. He announced as much to the teacher. She and the whole class laughed. Whereupon, he became indignant, strode to the blackboard, and worked the problem much to their amazement. In doing so, he realized that he could understand arithmetic. He felt a new confidence in his ability, and went on to become a good math student."

A few years ago I shared a poem I had written with a friend and he picked it to pieces. Tragically I believed his words and never wrote another poem for years. What got me started again was when a gifted artist told me how much she loved my poems. That inspired me to write more. The fact is, we all need someone who sees the gifts we have, who believes in us, and encourages us to develop our gifts and use them.

Note: If interested, see poems: "Forever Friend" at http://tinyurl.com/3z238u and "Unsung Songs" at http://tinyurl.com/4vsnnj by yours truly.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank You for the gifts and abilities that You have given to me. Please help me to know what these are, be well trained and skillful in using them, believe in myself as You believe in me, and use my gifts for Your glory. And please help me to be an encourager of others to help them see, develop, and use their God-given gifts for Your glory. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus's name, amen."

1. Matthew 9:29 (NIV).

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Thinking Makes It So

Wednesday, October 28, 2015.

Thinking Makes It So

"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."1

A Native American boy was talking with his grandfather. "What do you think about the world situation?" he asked. The grandfather replied, "I feel like two wolves are fighting in my heart. One is full of anger and hatred. The other is full of love, forgiveness and peace."

"Which one will win?" asked the boy.

To which the grandfather replied, "The one I feed."

Franklin Delano Roosevelt said, "Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds," and James Allen rightly stated, "You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you."

Another has said, "What the mind dwells on the body acts on." If you don't believe this, think how temptation works—first a thought that seems to come from nowhere ... we feed it and the thought begins to expand ... then one's feelings get involved ... and the more we think about it ... the more we hunger for it ... then we begin to rationalize and justify what we want to do ... and the battle is lost. It all starts in the mind.

As they say about computers: GIGO = garbage in garbage out. So it is with the mind. If we keep looking at and thinking about garbage, we will act out accordingly. But, if as the Bible says, we concentrate on thoughts that are noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable, we too, will act accordingly. It's all in the mind, for what the mind dwells on the body acts on.

When tempting thoughts knock on the door of my mind, I try to remember to pray a very simple prayer, "Jesus, help. Jesus help," and/or keep repeating the confirmation, "Jesus Christ is Lord," "Jesus Christ is Lord of my life," until the "door knocker" goes away.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to learn how to guard my thought life, and to concentrate on noble thoughts that lead to noble living and noble deeds. Help me to appreciate the fact that Your Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. Thank You for Your Word to me today and for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus's name, amen."


1. Philippians 4:8 (NIV).

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The Bitter Truth is Like Bitter Medicine That Cures You

The bitter truth is like bitter medicine that cures you.
~ Ekenyerengozi Michael Chima, Author of ""Children of Heaven", Diary of the Memory Keeper", "In the House of Dogs", "The Prophet Lied", "The Victory of Muhammadu Buhari and the Nigerian Dream" and other books.
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Sisan - Oh! Lord!

Pls listen and share #OhLord by @SisanOfficial produced by @Donjazzy. ====> http://bit.ly/sisanohlord 


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Miracle Delayed is Not Miracle Denied

Miracle delayed is not miracle denied.

~ Ekenyerengozi Michael Chima


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Facts About The Law of Protocol And The Reward It Creates...

Photo Credit: TechSpiro.

Facts About The Law of Protocol And The Reward It Creates...

• Protocol Is The Acceptable And Appropriate Conduct In A Specific Environment. Protocol is the right and correct way you should act in a specific situation. It is acceptable to scream and shout in a football game, but not at a funeral home when someone who has passed away is being respected and honored. Behavior that is acceptable and perfect in one environment can be destructive in another environment.

• The Holy Spirit Has Established A Protocol For Entering His Presence. Singing is very important to The Holy Spirit. “The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; He will save, He will rejoice over thee with joy; He will rest in His love, He will joy over thee with singing,” (Zephaniah 3:17).

• Assess An Environment Before You Attempt To Change It or Alter It. Observe a room before you enter it. Be aware of the focus of others. You would not walk in and open up anybody’s filing cabinet in your workplace. You honor their space. That is Protocol.

• When You Enter The Comfort Zone of Another, Do Not Introduce Discomfort. People do not remember what you say. They remember what they saw or felt when you said it.

• A Future That Requires No Change In You Will Be The Same As Your Present. A God-Future will require training, you may be like the Moses who was good enough to be a general in Pharaoh’s army as the adopted son of Pharaoh’s daughter, but leading God’s people out of Egypt into Canaan required a higher level of productivity, sensitivity, patience, fortitude and courage.

 Your Faithful Intercessor,

 Dr. Mike Murdock (drmikemurdock@thewisdomcenter.tv)

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Toxic Leaders

Photo Credit: Transformational Strategist.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Toxic Leaders

"Care for the flock of God entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly—not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God. Don't lord it over the people assigned to your care, but lead them by your good example."1

A Daily Encounter reader requests: "Could you do a lesson on spiritual abuse in the church, please? Something about pastors who, rather than shepherding their flock, rebuke people into submission? And, like the Pharisees, know the letter of the law but not the spirit."

Unfortunately, some legalistic leaders who use false guilt to control others do exist. When the early church slipped back into legalism, Paul asked them, "Who has bewitched [bedeviled] you?"2

People who have a need to control others, whether they are in the church or elsewhere, are very insecure and immature. They gain a sense of false security only when they feel that they are in control of those under or around them. While this is an emotional sickness, it affects those whom they control spiritually as well as emotionally, and can be psychologically damaging to them.

Furthermore, when leaders control others, they are playing the role of God and God's Spirit in other peoples' lives.

However, when we (as adults) allow ourselves to be controlled by others instead of yielding to the control or direction of God's Spirit—and depend on others to tell us what we should or shouldn't do—we act like children who need a parent figure for our own security. In so doing, we become a part of the controlling person's sickness! This way we don't have to think for ourselves, or accept responsibility for our decisions, and we can blame someone else for our bad choices. We do this because of our own insecurity and immaturity.

While we can't change others, with God's help we can change ourselves, and not allow others to control us or lord it over us! That is our responsibility.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank You that I can depend on You and on Your Word, the Bible, to show me healthy ways of living, worshipping, and relating to others. Help me to grow in maturity so I will not be a controlling person or allow myself to be controlled or 'lorded over' by others. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus's name, amen."

1. 1 Peter 5:2-3 (NLT).
2. Galatians 3:1 (KJV).

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The Power of Gossip

Two young women gossip. Photo Credit: eCURRENT.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

The Power of Gossip

"A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret."1

Alan Boone tells the humorous story how, at the end of their first date, a young man takes his favorite girl home. Emboldened by the night, he decides to try for that important first kiss. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her, "Darling, how about a goodnight kiss?"

Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"

"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"

"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"

"Oh come on, there's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"

"No way. It's just too risky!"

"Oh please, please, I like you so much!"

"No, no, and no. I like you too, but I just can't!"

"Oh yes you can. Please?"

"NO, no. I just can't."

"Pleeeeease?"

Out of the blue, the porch light goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled. In a sleepy voice the sister says: "Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he'll come down himself and do it. But for crying out loud tell him to take his hand off the intercom button!"2

Ooops! Some time ago after teaching a class, I was sharing personally with a friend and my microphone was still turned on! Very embarrassing!

What can be even more devastating and disappointing is that when you have shared, in confidence, something very personal with someone that you trusted, you find that they have shared it with someone else, and that someone shared it with someone else, and so on. Trust has been broken and you, rightfully, feel betrayed.

How easy it is to gossip. We can do it in numerous ways besides verbal assaults on a person's character. When someone's name is mentioned, all we have to do is say, "Oh, HIM!" in a negative tone of voice—or even give a dirty look at the mention of a person's name. As another has said, "Most of us would never steal a man's transportation, but think nothing of stealing his reputation."

Suggested prayer, "Dear God, please help me to guard my tongue, and always ignore and never pass on harmful gossip. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus's name, amen."

1. Proverbs 11:13 (NIV).
2. Alan Smith, Boone, NC. www.TFTD-online.com.

http://www.actsweb.org/daily.php?id=143.
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Soul-Brother/Sister: A True Friend Loves at All Times

Two friends. Photo Credit: Wallpaper 222.

Thursday, October 8, 2015.

Soul-Brother/Sister

"A friend loves at all times."1

In his book, Out of Solitude, Henri Nouwen wrote, "When we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."

These people I like to call soul-brothers or soul-sisters. These are friends with whom we can trust our very soul—warts and all. In fact, for healthy living and loving relationships, every woman (single or married) needs such a soul-sister. And every man (single or married) needs such a soul-brother.

Suggested prayer, "Dear God, please help me to be, and please give to me, such a friend. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus's name, amen."

1. Proverbs 17:17 (NIV).

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Eye On Sparrows

Sparrows. Photo Credit: Old Wild Life Journal.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Eye on Sparrows

Jesus said, "Not even a sparrow, worth only half a penny, can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered."1

Dr. Paige Patterson tells how the renown African-American singer, Ethel Waters, known for her ministry with Billy Graham Crusades, learned about life the hard way. Ethel said that, as a child, she always felt lost and like an outsider. She was born out of wedlock, got into trouble continuously. Ethel described it, "I never was really a child, was never liked or understood by my family, never felt like I belonged, nobody brought me up. I ran wild as a little girl, was real bad, was leader of a street gang, and a general hell-raiser."

Rev. Williams was preaching at a revival service to which Ethel was invited. On the last night, Ethel pleaded with God to speak to her, which, to her was to be God's last chance.

The preacher spoke on the riches of Christ and His ability to save anyone from their sins. Something happened—Christ "spoke" to Ethel and she received Jesus as her Savior and was soundly converted to Christianity. From that experience she often sang the familiar words, "Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come, / Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heaven and home, / When Jesus is my portion? My constant friend is He; / His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me; / His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me."2

NOTE: If you have never accepted Jesus as your Savior, be sure to read the article, "How to Be Sure You're a Real Christian" at: http://tinyurl.com/8glq9.

Suggested prayer: "Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You that You not only know about the sparrows, but also that You know everything about me—even the number of hairs on my head—and that You care for me more than I could ever realize. Please help me to know and experience Your care, Your love, and Your affirmation of me in the very core of my being. Do this for the glory of Your name. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus's name, amen."

1. Matthew 10:29-30 (NLT).
2. Civilla D. Martin, 1905.






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About Abortion

 Photo Credit: http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/article/choosing-abortion.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

About Abortion

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."1

A Daily Encounter reader asks, "Do you have any information on what effect having an abortion in one's youth can have on one's life as an adult? I understand that it can have far-reaching effects. Is it possible for healing?"

Perhaps one who has had an abortion could best answer this question, so all I can do is share my observations and what I think. At one retreat I attended, a non-Christian, rather loose-living, non-religious woman shared with our group how she had had two abortions and didn't know if she even loved the two children she now had. As she shared with us, she sobbed her heart out. Her past actions were certainly having far-reaching effects in her life. As I understand it, she, like many others who have had abortions, do suffer with long-term grief and guilt, unless, like for any other sin, they seek and find God's forgiveness and healing. If they fail to resolve their guilt and grief, it will have a negative effect on their present as well as their future close relationships.

To be freed from guilt, whatever one's sins may be, it is essential that we confess them to God and ask for His forgiveness. It is also very helpful to confess our sins and failures to a trusted friend, pastor, priest or counselor. As James wrote in the Bible, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."2 Then we need to forgive ourselves—this, for many, can be the most difficult thing to do, especially for those who are perfectionists or have perfectionist tendencies.

True, some sins are going to have lasting effects in this life and may always bring regrets, but we need to realize that there is no sin that is so big or so bad that God will not forgive—apart from the sin against God's Holy Spirit which is the failure to accept God's forgiveness! Any and all sins are an offense against a Holy God but, because God loves us so much, He gave His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross to pay the penalty for all our sins—large and small! All we need to do is confess our sins to God, repent of them, believe that Jesus died on the cross in our place, invite Him into our heart and life as Savior, ask for His forgiveness, and thank Him for it.

Note: For further help, be sure to read the article, "Forgiveness: the Power That Heals" at: http://tinyurl.com/3bw3q3 and/or "How to Be Sure You're a Real Christian" at: http://tinyurl.com/8glq9 .

Suggested prayer, "Dear God, thank You for Your great love for me, and for giving Your Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for all my sins. I confess my sins (name them) to You God, and ask for Your forgiveness. Please help me to forgive myself and all who have 'sinned' against or hurt me. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus's name, amen."

See article: "Healing from Post-Abortion Syndrome" at: www.ncfliving.org/post_abortion.php .

1. 1 John 1:9 (NIV).
2. James 5:16 (NIV).

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Object Constancy, Part III

Christian spouses in church. Photo Credit: STEVEN JAMES DIXON.

Monday, October 5, 2015

Object Constancy, Part III

"As far as the east is from the west, so far has he [God] removed our transgressions [sins] from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear [trust/reverence] him."1

As we have pointed out in the past two days, it is imperative that we have object constancy in our lives if we are to have meaningful and fulfilling lives. We were created for loving relationships not only with God but also with others. And without sufficient love we wither up and die inside a little every day.

To heal from past hurts so we can achieve a sufficient level of object constancy, we need to be in a meaningful recovery program, because we don't heal without our active participation. We need to be emotionally honest and to resolve all bottled-up negative emotions, and we need to face and deal with the causes of inner emptiness. Next is:

Responsibility
Fifth, when we come to the realization that we didn't receive sufficient parental love, we're not looking to blame our parents because they could only give love to the degree that they had been loved themselves. We don't want to feel sorry for ourselves either; but we do need to take responsibility for our re-parenting and getting our needs met in healthy ways—and, again, not expect anybody else to do this for us.

Acceptance
Sixth, to re-parent ourselves we need to be courageously open and honest in safe, trusted, non-judgmental, and affirming relationships (non-romantic) and keep accountable to these people. When we admit our weaknesses to safe people, we find we are loved and accepted exactly as we are. Through their love and acceptance, little by little we learn to love and accept ourselves in a healthy way. This is critical, for only to the degree that we feel loved and accepted are we able to love and accept anybody else. One effective way to do this is in a safe twelve-step recovery group.

Keep in mind that we were damaged in damaging relationships and are healed in healing relationships.

Counsel
Seventh, for those who have been abused—physically, emotionally, spiritually and/or sexually—or seriously emotionally neglected as a child, it is essential to get counseling in order to resolve our fear, so we can learn how to discern and receive healthy love, and are able to trust again.

Divine Love
Eighth, above all we need to realize just how much God, the Heavenly Father, loves and accepts us exactly as we are, so we can experience and feel His love and affirmation at the very core of our being.2

Every day, as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, we are reminded of God's unfathomable love for us and that "as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions [sins] from us."

In sending His Son, Jesus, to come to earth and die on the cross to pay the penalty for every sin you and I have ever committed or ever will commit, there is a profound demonstration of God's love for you and me. To know and feel this love—if we haven't already done this—we start by accepting God's gift of forgiveness by confessing our sins to Him and inviting Jesus to come into our heart and life as personal Lord and Savior. (See "How to Be Sure You're a Real Christian" at: http://tinyurl.com/8glq9 for help to do this.)

And all who have accepted Jesus as their Savior (no matter how long ago) we need to daily remind ourselves of and thank God for His great love for us, and pray that we will learn to love and accept ourselves as He loves and accepts us. It is also helpful to picture ourselves as a child being held in the arms of Jesus and being blessed by Him as He did the children when He was here on earth.

These steps take time and considerable effort, but follow them faithfully and you will, in time, find object constancy and the love your heart yearns to find.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, don't let me die without having found the mature love my heart craves, and without having learned how to fully live and fully love. So help me God. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus's name, amen."

1. Psalm 103:12-13 (NIV).
2. Adapted from "The Power of Love" by Dick Innes, http://tinyurl.com/283t54

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